Sunday, January 27, 2002
I definately learned a lot about myself in the past few hours. I'll begin the story three hours ago. I had just walked in from an evening at Mee-ow and IMed Meg who was at her fathers house, and thus on a different computer than normal. When playing with the buddy icons, she accidentally set hers to be this ugly chocolate sundae, which got sent to me just as i was typing, so I accepted it unknowingly. Thus a frantic search for the icon ensued. Since instant messenger doesn't ever let you know where the icons are really stored, and deletes the oldone right away, this turned out to be a problem. What ended up happening is that I spent an hour on the web searching for this icon to no avail, after which I wrote an email to the company where I got it originally asking if they could help me find it. At that point i started to get depressed, and worried that I might never see it again, and i definately cried for a few minutes. At that point I decided to be creative, and learned that aol creates a *.id file that is essentially the icon with a new extension. So I loooked, but alas it was gone. However, it might not be gone from other computers I put it on, so I emailed my brother to have him check on the home computers if it might still be there. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for now.

I know that the above may seem trivial, but it is in reality somethign everyone deals with, the loss of something special to them, even though it is totally without intrinsic value. I know in the long run that this means nothing but somehow, at the same time, it is still important that I do everything I can to find it. If I can't then I will accept it, but I just can't not try every possible avenue. Maybe this perseverance is silly, but it means something to me, and I know the fact that it does means something to someone else too. A silly thing like this can make you realize how important certain things are when they represent the people about whom you care most in your life, and the pursuit itself makes you feel closer to them. Its a nice feeling to have underneath once all the dissapointment about the trivial stuff passes.

Love certainly drives people to extremes sometimes, but that is where you can find true happiness, and a real sense of comfort.

On a slight side note, even if I never do find the icon again, I will always remember it, and will always have a blurry picture of it to look at.


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